Saturday, April 1, 2023
Phil’s seeing Smurfs, Trees, carrots and Easter bunnies and he’s Christmas crackers

Phil’s seeing Smurfs, Trees, carrots and Easter bunnies and he’s Christmas crackers

IF we’re angry about something, we can argue about it until we’re blue in the face. Given that premise Smurf’s must be permanently cheesed-off.

I get blue-faced angry with retailers who refer to their ‘customers’ while secretly regarding them as ‘cash cows’ to be mercilessly squeezed of every penny.

It’s usually early September when my faced adopts a blue tinge. I wander into a supermarket and find Halloween-related tat, November 5th fireworks, Christmas cards and wrapping paper on sale all in the same aisle.

This money-grabbing greediness is the closest retailers can get to stopping customers at the door and demanding they hand over the contents of their wallets & purses before telling them to come back next week with more dosh.

You might think that sounds ridiculous – but last week I read about a new (at least it is to me) product supermarkets have created to part us from our hard-earned. Easter Trees!

How have we managed to celebrate Easter for hundreds of years without placing a stick of wood with rabbit-shaped baubles hanging from its spindly branches on top of the sideboard?

Waitrose, Tesco and Sainsbury’s are charging around £15 for a two-foot tree – maths geniuses will have calculated that’s £7.50 a foot – while a company called Party Pieces, owned by the Duchess of Cambridge’s parents, is selling Easter Trees for £19.99. Get behind me in the queue! But there’s more!

You can now buy carrot-shaped Easter Crackers! Unlike the Christmas variety, they don’t contain novelties because, according to one retailer who will remain nameless – but not shameless – “It allows purchasers to insert their own little gifts!” How generous.

A spokesperson for one retailer selling these unnecessary Easter items said “They appeal to people keen on creating new traditions!”. Hey! I’ve got a new tradition! It’s called “Let’s not fall for retailers spin and save our money!”

You can follow Phil Evans on Twitter @philevanswales and on his website

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