I’ve long suspected that so-called ‘inanimate objects’ are far from inanimate.
Either they’re an evil cabal conspiring against us to mess up our daily lives (Just like the Welsh Assembly). Or they have a wicked sense of humour (Unlike the Welsh Assembly).
Just think about the number of times you’ve tripped over something in the house that wasn’t there the last time you looked. How did it get there?
Conversely, how many times have you gone to pick something up that you definitely remember leaving on a table, only to find it isn’t there – and, then, you eventually find it in a different place in a different room? How did it get there?
If you need more convincing, how often have you walked past a door handle while wearing old clothes without incident.
But, the very first time you wear a brand new sweater or jacket you catch it on that same ‘innocent looking’ door handle, causing a tear in the material? Now you’re starting to believe me. But, the tables are turning, and not by themselves.
A number of Welsh people are plotting against one of the biggest, longest and heaviest inanimate objects in the country. The Second Severn Crossing. They’re so unhappy that it’s being re-named “The Prince Of Wales Bridge” they’re protesting and signing petitions.
They may march on Westminster, brandishing pitchforks and lighted torches. It’s a day out. Bring sandwiches and a flask.
Frankly, from where I’m sitting, up here on the fence, it’s unimportant what this bridge is named. It won’t answer when you speak to it or send you a Christmas card, because, being a metal structure built to convey vehicles from one side of the Severn to the other, it isn’t aware it has a name.
When all the hoo-hah has died down, we’ll still call it the Second Severn Crossing as we always have.
Mind you, “The Phil Evans Bridge” does have a nice ring to it.
You can follow Phil Evans on his website